Monday, December 14, 2009

One heck of a weekend!

Last time I worked was Thursday. I was so pumped about my blog! I did the stairs at work twice and I told a whole bunch of people to check in on me and read my blog... So far, not a single one has. Just makes me realize even more that this is my battle, I have to be accountable for myself, and if I have not one single follower for my blog, I am am still reading it. I am still on this journey, I am the one who has to look in the mirror, and I am the one who is going to succeed...

Friday was a rough day, Olivia was needy and I did not get much accomplished at all. Will (My husband) and I did go out and buy a Nintendo Wii.... He wanted it for the snowboarding, I wanted it for the Fit board and biggest loser game.... We ended up buying those on Saturday... our Christmas present to each other. I am excited about using it, now just to find the time!!

Saturday was my mom's annual holiday girls only martini party. We started the morning by going to weigh in at weight watchers first... I was so upset while we were driving there. I knew I had gained weight. I had not been in two weeks. I had not exercised like I promised myself I would, I had not logged my calories, I had not drank water.... It's like I had forgotten all the basics. My mom weighed in first and she had lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I kept thinking that she had lost it and I had found it. I weighed in and ended up only gaining 1.2 pounds. Not nearly as bad as I thought but still, Come on Emily..... I am officially THE SAME WEIGHT that I gained WW at 7 weeks ago..... so sad... I am just 100 bucks poorer.... Why am I waisting my money if I am not going to even try? do I think if I pay the money someone else is going to do the work for me? Or if I pay the money, the weight is just going to disappear? I don't know why I let myself fail every time. It needs to change, that much I know.

The rest of the weekend after my meeting was a blur of martinis, PMS-ing, chocolate candy, unhealthy snacks and more martinis.... Sunday we went out to Fuji for hibachi dinner and I used the and thought " I blew today anyway, why not go all out!" and pounded a pile of caramel pretzel candies for dessert... So sad.... I am ready to change..... I need to take myself seriously... I need to get healthy.... I am ready to get fit for myself and Olivia!

Today is Monday and I feel like I am finally in the right mind to take my weight loss journey seriously.... Lets do this!

My plan for today is to track everything I put into my mouth and drink my 2 nalgene jugs of water. I did great for breakfast, I had my Oatmeal and didn't even add the brown sugar this time. For lunch I am going to have Subway, my snacks will be a pear and a granola bar, and for dinner brown rice and left over pot roast.... I am going to do this, one day at a time. I WILL HAVE A WEIGHT LOSS THIS WEEK AT WW!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

A fresh start

Hi, My Name is Emily, and I am obese. I have been for as long as I can remember and I have tried for the past 15 years to overcome my weight problem. Every time I try, I fail miserably. I have joined gyms, tried pills, weigh loss drinks, joined and most recently weight watchers. I am not sure why I fail every time but I am starting this blog to keep tabs on my emotions, habits, goals, successes and even failures. I hope to one day be a motivation to others including my Husband of 5 years William and my family.

I am 29 years old, soon to be 30, (in 30 days!) and I want to make my 30s happier and healthier than I made my 20s. I have a 6 month old baby girl named Olivia who is the light of my life. She means more to me than I ever thought possible and I want to be a healthy role model for her as she grows up in this crazy world.

The reason I have chosen today and my "fresh start" is because I feel I had a moment that was the straw that broke the camels back. I had 3 brownies for breakfast..... I am disgusted even writing that. We had dinner company last night and the leftover brownies were on the counter. I am so upset that just because they were there, I ate them. I was not hungry, I was not craving chocolate... at 8 am this morning, I had 3 brownies for breakfast.... This has to change. I am going to gain control of my life, become healthy and Fit, and live my best life possible.

I am a registered nurse at a local hospital and the sad thing is, I know better. I know the health problems associated with being obese, I know about diabetes, hypertension, arthritis, fatty live... I know it all, And I know how to get healthy. I have read book after book and article after article, but I have never made that commitment to myself, I have never just bucked up and changed... Well here I am, Putting it all out there.... and from this day forward it is my commitment to myself that I will put my health first. I will respect my body and honor it the way it deserves to be treated. No more brownies for breakfast, no more taking the elevator, no more easy way out.... I am here to get healthy and gosh darn it all, I will succeed....